Happiness is something we all want in life, but sometimes it feels impossible to find. There are moments when we feel happy because of good news, fun activities, or special events, but those feelings don’t always last. True happiness is much deeper than just feeling good for a short time. It is about having a way of thinking and living that makes life more peaceful, meaningful, and fulfilling. It means feeling emotionally strong even when life gets tough.
I was always a person who relied on herself and was happy with small things. I never thought happiness was all about big achievements or exciting moments. I was always aware that the feeling would always fade no matter how many fun things I did. I always knew from my childhood that happiness comes from within—it is about how we see life, handle problems, and take care of our hearts and minds. But how can we do that when life is full of stress, unexpected challenges, and moments of sadness? How to find long-lasting happiness?
This article will explore different ways to find real and lasting happiness, using ideas from research as well as personal experiences. It will look at how our thoughts, habits, and emotions shape our happiness and what we can do to create a life that feels truly joyful.
1. Live in the Present
Even though I was a smart child who was happy with small things, I still sometimes get into the past and become upset when tough times come, but while struggling, I have learned that to be happy, I need to live in the present. Sometimes, when I think too much about the past, I feel sad. There are things I wish had happened differently, mistakes I wish I had not made, and people I miss. But no matter how much I think about it, I cannot change the past. Thinking about it too much only makes me feel worse.
Life is not always easy. Everyone has problems, and that is just part of living. If I keep worrying about the past or the future, I feel weak and stressed. But when I focus on today, I feel stronger. I remind myself that this moment is what matters the most. The past is gone, and the future is not here yet. But right now, I can do something to make my life better.
Living in the present does not mean forgetting everything. It just means not letting past pain or future worries take away my happiness. It means enjoying small things, like a nice meal, a good laugh, or fresh air. Every day is a new chance to be happy, and when I focus on the present, I feel more at peace, but at the same time keep my past in mind as my strength and keep learning from it.
2. Search Your Happiness Inside Yourself
For a long time, I believed that happiness came from outside things. I thought I would be happy if I achieved something big, bought something new, or if people around me treated me well and loved me as I was a middle invisible child for my family. But over time, I realized that this kind of happiness never lasted. Whenever I got what I wanted, I would feel happy for a while, but then the feeling would fade, and I would start looking for the next thing to make me happy again. It felt like a never-ending cycle.
There were also times when I felt unhappy because of what other people said or did. If someone treated me badly or if things didn’t go the way I wanted, I would feel sad and frustrated. But after thinking about it deeply, I understood that if my happiness depends only on outside things, then I will always be chasing it. True happiness comes from within—it is something we create inside ourselves.
I have learned that no matter what happens around me, I can still find peace and happiness inside. It is not always easy, but I try to focus on the things that really matter—being grateful for what I have, appreciating small joys, and taking care of my mind and heart. When I stop looking for happiness in things or people and start finding it within myself, I feel stronger and more in control of my emotions.
Now, I remind myself that I do not need to wait for something or someone to make me happy. Happiness is already inside me; I just need to see it. By accepting myself, being kind to myself, and focusing on the good in my life, I can feel happy even when things are not perfect.
3. Accept Yourself
I struggled with accepting myself. I used to compare myself to others and feel like I was not good enough. If I made a mistake, I would be too hard on myself. If someone didn’t like me or said something bad about me, I would start thinking that maybe I was not good enough. I kept looking for ways to be “better” so that I could feel happier, but no matter what I did, I always found something about myself that I wished I could change. comparing yourself to others and taking it positively to learn from them is good, but thinking yourself lower than them can kill your confidence.
Over time, I realized that no one in this world is perfect. Everyone has flaws, makes mistakes, and has things they wish they could change. If I keep waiting to be "perfect" before I accept myself, I will never be truly happy. I had to learn that I am enough just the way I am.
Accepting myself does not mean that I stop improving or growing as a person. It just means that I stop hating myself for my mistakes and imperfections. It means understanding that I have value, even when I fail. It means loving myself, even when I don’t feel my best.
Now, instead of being my own biggest critic, I try to be my own biggest supporter. When I make mistakes, I remind myself that it is okay because mistakes help me learn. When I feel insecure, I remind myself that everyone has their own struggles. And when I feel down, I remind myself of the good things about myself.
Accepting myself has made me feel more at peace. It has helped me be kinder to myself and enjoy life more. I no longer wait for other people’s approval to feel good about myself. I know that as long as I keep trying my best and stay true to who I am, I am enough.
4. Simplify Your Life
There was a time when my life felt too complicated. I had too many things to think about, too many worries, and too many things I thought I needed to be happy. I would always try to do everything at once, and it made me feel tired and stressed. No matter how much I did, there was always something more to do, and I never felt truly satisfied, but remember that not feeling satisfied is a positive thing if you take it as a learning and growing opportunity.
I also used to hold on to things I didn’t need—both in my mind and in my daily life. I kept worrying about things that had already happened, stressing over things that might happen in the future, and trying to make everyone happy. I also kept things I didn’t really need, thinking they might be useful one day. But instead of making me happy, all of this made my life feel heavier.
One day, I realized that I needed to make my life simpler. I started by letting go of things that didn’t bring me happiness. I cleaned up my space and removed things I no longer needed. I stopped trying to please everyone and focused on what truly mattered to me. I also learned to say no to things that drained my energy and time.
Now, my life feels much lighter. I focus on the things that make me happy and bring me peace. I don’t waste time worrying about things I can’t change. I remind myself that happiness is not about having more—it is about enjoying what I already have. When I keep life simple, I feel freer, more peaceful, and more in control of my own happiness.
5. Keep Learning
I have learned that life is always changing, and the best way to grow is to keep learning. I was not happy with studying as a child, but at the same time, I wanted to become a doctor. But life was not wanted it to be, still as a person I was always noticing small things a their big meanings, I always knew that when I stop learning, I stop growing. I started to feel like life was the same every day, and I wasn’t improving in any way.
I was never afraid of failing and learning new things, which made me this bold that I went to college for a chef's course at the age of 48 years. Sometimes I would think, "What if I try and I am not good at it?" or "What if people laugh at me?" But I knew that learning is not about being perfect—it is about getting better step by step, even though my classmates were laughing at me because of my age in my last course. I believe Everyone starts as a beginner, and mistakes are just a part of learning.
I always enjoyed keeping learning. I read books, watched videos, and tried new skills. Sometimes I failed, but instead of feeling bad, I reminded myself that failure is just a lesson. The more I learned, the more confident I became.
In my view, Learning does not always mean studying from books. It can be learning from experiences, from people around me, or my own mistakes. Every time I learn something new, I feel more alive and more prepared for life. Now, I understand that learning is a lifelong journey, and as long as I keep learning, I will keep growing and improving myself.
6. Understanding What Happiness Is
I was thinking happiness was about having everything I wanted. I believed that if I achieved certain goals, bought nice things, or if everything in my life went perfectly, I would finally be happy. But as I experienced life, I realized that this was not true. Even after reaching some of my goals or getting things I once wished for, my happiness didn’t last forever. After a while, I would start wanting something else, and the cycle would continue.
There were also times when I thought happiness depended on other people. If someone treated me well, I felt happy. But if they hurt me or left me, I felt sad and empty. It took me a long time to understand that real happiness does not come from outside things or other people—it comes from within.
Now, I see happiness differently. It is not about having a perfect life, because no one’s life is perfect. It is about how I choose to see things and how I react to different situations. Even in difficult times, I can still find moments of peace, love, and joy if I look for them. Happiness is in simple things—spending time with loved ones, feeling grateful for what I have, and enjoying the little moments in life. I enjoy my own company. I do what I love, for example, shopping, traveling, watching movies, and living in nature.
I have learned that happiness is not a destination. It is not something I will find one day and keep forever. It is a way of living, a way of thinking, and a choice I have to make every day. Now, instead of chasing happiness in big things, I try to create it in my daily life.
Being Humble and Down to Earth
I have learned that no matter how much we achieve in life, it is important to stay humble and down to earth. I always thought success meant proving myself to others, showing that I was better, or gaining praise from people. But over time, I realized that true success is not about being above others—it is about being kind, respectful, and understanding.
I have met people who had a lot—money, power, or knowledge, but they were not happy because they always wanted more. On the other hand, I have met people who had very little, yet they were full of joy and kindness. This made me realize that happiness does not come from being better than others. It comes from being grateful, treating people well, and staying humble no matter what life brings.
There were times when I felt proud of something I did, and I wanted others to notice. But I learned that the best feeling is not when people praise me—it is when I know in my heart that I did something good, even if no one sees it. Being humble means understanding that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and no one is more important than another.
Staying down to earth also helps me connect with people better. When I treat everyone with respect, whether they are rich or poor, successful or struggling, I find deeper relationships and more peace in my heart. I remind myself that no matter how far I go in life, I should never forget where I came from and the lessons I learned along the way.
Now, I try to live in a way that values kindness over pride. I understand that being humble does not mean thinking less of myself—it just means knowing that every person has value and that we are all equal in life’s journey.
8. Developing a Positive Attitude: Rewiring Your BrainOnce I started to believe that my thoughts were just natural and that I had no control over them. If something went wrong, I would think negatively, and I felt like I had no choice but to feel bad. But over time, I realized that my thoughts have a big impact on how I feel, and the way I think can actually shape my happiness.
There were times when I focused too much on problems and what was going wrong in my life. Even when good things happened, I would still find something to worry about. This made me feel stressed and unhappy. But then I learned that my brain works like a habit—if I keep thinking negatively, my brain gets used to it. But if I start thinking more positively, my brain can learn that too.
At first, changing my thoughts was not easy. When something bad happened, my mind still wanted to think negatively. But I started training myself to see things differently. Instead of focusing only on problems, I tried to find solutions. Instead of thinking about what was missing in my life, I reminded myself of what I had. Instead of feeling like a failure after making mistakes, I told myself that mistakes are a way to learn.
Slowly, I started to feel different. I felt lighter, happier, and more in control of my emotions. I realized that a positive attitude does not mean ignoring problems or pretending that everything is perfect. It means choosing to focus on hope, solutions, and the good in every situation.
Now, whenever I face difficulties, I remind myself that my thoughts are powerful. I can choose to think in a way that helps me grow instead of bringing me down. By rewiring my brain to be more positive, I have learned that happiness starts from within.
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