A special kind of relationship known as "friends with benefits" (FWB) occurs when two people have casual sexual encounters without making the commitment that comes with a love engagement. People who prefer the physical side of relationships but aren't prepared for or interested in the emotional obligations that accompany them are more and more likely to experience this dynamic.
However, maintaining a healthy FWB relationship can be challenging. Such an agreement can easily become problematic, resulting in miscommunication, wounded feelings, or even the breakup of a friendship, if limits, respect, and clear communication aren't maintained. In-depth advice and practical suggestions to guarantee both sides have a positive experience and preserve a strong connection will be provided in this essay on how to make a friendship with advantages work.
1. Define the Relationship Early
Clear Communication is Key: It's critical to have an honest discussion about limits, expectations, and what each party wants out of the arrangement before committing to a friendship with benefits. It's critical to confirm that both parties understand the nature of the partnership. Do you both have a certain physical item in mind? Is emotional participation a possibility? Early preparation helps avoid misunderstandings.
Example of Clear Communication:
- "I like spending time with you, which is why I'm interested in this arrangement, but I'm not looking for anything serious right now."
- "I want to make sure we both know that this is a casual relationship, and we should talk about it if either of us feels differently about it."
2. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Physical Boundaries: Determine what types of physical contact are appropriate and how frequently you want to see each other. Are you only getting together for sex, or are you just looking to hang out as friends without having any sexual relations? While occasional hookups are a part of some FWB relationships, more frequent interactions are a part of others. Talking about whether something could be moving into a more serious relationship and how frequently is too often is crucial.
Emotional Boundaries: Emotional boundaries are equally important to establish as physical ones. Although the primary focus of FWB relationships is usually sexual intimacy, emotions can occasionally play a role. It's critical to decide how you will manage any potential emotions. How will it be handled, for example, if someone starts to experience romantic feelings? What would happen if one individual began a significant relationship with another person?
Tips for Setting Boundaries:
- Talk about how long you plan to spend with each other.
- Decide if one of you will leave after sex or if you will both spend the night together.
- Clearly state the boundaries for permissible non-sexual contact, such as holding hands, sending texts, or disclosing intimate information.
3. Honesty and Transparency Throughout
Ongoing Communication: For friendships with benefits to remain strong, there must be constant contact. Communicating any changes in your life, such as falling in love, becoming less interested in the physical part, or wishing to date someone else, requires open communication with the other person. Awkwardness, stress, or even the breakup of the friendship may result from hiding these changes or failing to confront them.
Respecting Each Other’s Situations: Be forthright about your emotional state and if you still find the arrangement to be beneficial. It's crucial to explain any discomfort felt by either side and make the required changes or terminate the agreement peacefully.
Example:
- "I think we should end our physical arrangement since I want to concentrate on the relationship I've been seeing."
4. Maintain the Friendship Aspect
Balance the Friendship and the Benefits: Relationships between friends that are based primarily on friendships frequently function best. To keep the platonic part of your relationship continuing, spend time together engaging in non-sexual activities like going to the movies or getting coffee. In addition to enjoying the extra physical connection, this makes sure that both parties never forget why they were friends in the first place.
Don’t Forget to Have Fun: One of the benefits of a casual walk-on-by relationship is that it may be carefree and enjoyable. Remind yourself that friendship should bring happiness outside of the bedroom while you relish the rewards without overanalyzing everything. Have fun, crack jokes, and partake in non-sexual activities that deepen your relationship.
5. Be Adaptable to Changes
Be Prepared for Evolving Feelings: Emotions might change over time, whether it's from discovering a love interest or that the FWB arrangement isn't working. Keep an open mind and don't attempt to repress your feelings if they surface. Things may change. Talking about what to do next is crucial if you or your companion begin to feel something. It may include moving from a platonic friendship to a romantic one in some situations, or it may entail terminating the physical relationship.
Be Respectful if One Person Wants Out: Eventually, one of the parties to the FWB arrangement may decide to leave it because they are uncomfortable or because they have emotions for someone else. Honor each other's choices and put your relationship above any material gain. Your friendship doesn't have to end if you decide to break up with your significant other.
6. Avoid Jealousy and Possessiveness
Accept Your Freedom: Managing jealousy is one of the toughest obstacles in a first-time boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, particularly if one or both partners start dating other people. Remembering that FWB relationships are not exclusive is essential to making this work. Talk about whether it's OK for each of you to see other people and how to deal with jealousy. It may be time to reevaluate the relationship if one partner values exclusivity.
Managing Outside Relationships: Those in first-week-long partnerships frequently begin dating other individuals at some point. When this occurs, it's critical to honor the newly formed bond and recognize that the FWB arrangement might have to cease. It's preferable to discontinue a sexual relationship with someone while still keeping the friendship going if one person begins dating them seriously (if feasible).
7. Know When to End It
Acknowledge the Signs: FWB relationships occasionally have an inherent end date. This could occur when one person wishes to pursue a more committed relationship with another, or if the arrangement begins to seem emotionally or complicatedly demanding. The secret to preventing any damaged feelings and maintaining the friendship is knowing when to call it quits.
End on Good Terms: It is possible to end an FWB relationship in a kind and civil manner. A straightforward and collected chat can help avoid awkward situations or animosity when one party is experiencing romantic feelings for another, or when someone has begun dating someone else. The objective is to maintain the relationship if the "benefits" portion of the agreement is no longer valid.
