At one point in my life, I thought I was only going through the motions. Every day seemed the same: I got up, took care of my obligations, crossed things off my to-do list, and then did it all over again the next day. I was doing my responsibilities and meeting expectations, yet something was lacking. Instead of feeling like an event, life seemed like a routine. I wasn't really joyful, but I also wasn't miserable either. I wasn't living, I was surviving.
It wasn't until a close friend asked me, "When was the last time you did something that truly excited you?" that I realized how deeply I had gotten into this cycle. I stopped. I didn't know how to respond. Even though I had a lot of responsibilities, I couldn't think of a single instance in the recent past where I felt fully alive. That discussion stayed with me and caused me to consider life's true meaning in great detail.
It is quite simple to get into survival mode in the fast-paced world of today. We are under tremendous pressure from society to achieve our professional aspirations, maintain financial security, take care of our families, and always "keep up." Meeting expectations takes up so much of our attention that we neglect to take care of ourselves. Are we genuinely content with the life we are building? Or are we just attempting to survive the day?
I now take the notion that "life is meant to be lived, not just survived" seriously. It serves as a warning that time is short and that, if we are not attentive, years may pass without us ever feeling as though we have lived. However, moving from simply existing to truly living calls for awareness, work, and occasionally even bravery. I know this from personal experience.
Understanding the Difference Between Surviving and Living
For me, surviving meant never stopping to appreciate the ride but always moving forward. It was not about joy, enthusiasm, or profound personal development, but rather about carrying out obligations, meeting deadlines, and attending to responsibilities. I recall feeling like I was constantly attempting to "get through" something during that time, whether it was a workweek, financial strain, or simply another round of everyday chores. Because I wasn't really there, even my best moments felt ephemeral.
However, genuinely living is quite another matter. It's about living in the now, giving ordinary situations purpose, and making meaningful moments. It's not always about embarking on epic journeys or drastically altering one's life. Rather, it's about embracing what gives us life, whether it be learning new things, following interests, spending time with loved ones, or just finding beauty in the little things in life.
I used to adore painting, but I gradually stopped doing it as my life became busy. One day, feeling especially exhausted, I picked up a brush once again. Something changed inside of me as soon as I began blending colors on the canvas. It was similar to awakening from a deep slumber. I learned from that experience that although the things that make us happy are necessary for genuinely living, we frequently bury them beneath the burden of obligations.
Living also entails taking charge of our own narrative and stepping off autopilot. I've spoken to folks who express a sense of being stuck, as though life is occurring to them instead of them actively directing it. That's how I've felt too. In actuality, though, we have more power than we realize. We are in charge of determining our priorities, how we spend our time, and how we want to live. The secret is to be deliberate, to make decisions based on our own values rather than merely following rules or regulations.
I now make it a daily goal to remind myself that life is about feeling alive, even in the tiniest moments, and not simply about getting by. It's about discovering joy in relationships, excitement in education, and tranquility in silence. It's about scheduling time for important things, not simply those that seem necessary. Because I don't want to look back and see that I just made it through. When I look back, I want to know that I really lived.
The Psychological Impact of Just Surviving
Long-term survival mode living can hurt one's mental and emotional health. I've been there, so I can attest to this. Whether it was work obligations, money worries, or just keeping up with life's demands, there was a time in my life when I was always concerned about what needed to be done next. Unaware that I had disregarded my own joys, hobbies, and even relationships with others, every day seemed like a struggle to remain afloat.
Chronic stress is one of the most significant consequences of simply existing. Every morning, I recall waking up with a heaviness in my chest, as though I was already behind schedule before the day had even begun. I was constantly thinking about all I needed to do and fretting about potential problems. It was draining. My attitude, energy levels, and even my capacity to appreciate the things that used to bring me joy began to suffer as a result of this stress over time. Simple pleasures like taking in a sunset or engaging in meaningful discussion seemed more like diversions than special times. My thoughts were constantly elsewhere, focused on the next assignment or issue.
A lack of contentment was another issue I had. I never felt like I had done enough, even when I did. I had persuaded myself that there was no time to stop and consider what I had accomplished and that I had to keep moving forward. In retrospect, I see how many chances for development and fulfillment I lost because I was too preoccupied with "getting through" rather than fully experiencing life. I felt trapped in a never-ending cycle of obligations while I watched others follow their hobbies, travel, pick up new skills, and savor the small things in life. On certain days, everything began to feel monotonous and unsatisfying, and I would question myself, "Is this all there is?"
The gradual lack of drive was the most perilous aspect of being in survival mode. I used to be thrilled by objectives, hobbies, and dreams. However, those ambitions begin to seem far-fetched and virtually unattainable when you're always struggling to get by each day. I can recall instances in which I wanted to begin something new, like picking up a new skill, going back to an old pastime, or simply taking some time for myself, but I would always put it off, telling myself, "I’ll do it when things settle down." Things never really calmed down, though, and before I knew it, months had gone by with me making little headway on anything actually important to me. It was challenging to overcome the impression of stagnation brought on by that lack of drive.
The impact on my relationships was maybe the most devastating consequence of simply surviving. It's simple to inadvertently distance yourself from those who are important to you when you're preoccupied with just getting by each day. I became less involved in social contacts, less emotionally open to those around me, and less present in conversations—all of which I didn't intentionally do. Sometimes family members or friends would reach out to me, but I was too exhausted to give it my whole attention. I recall losing out on important moments—not because I didn't care, but rather because worry and anxieties consumed my thoughts constantly. This eventually led to a feeling of loneliness. I experienced emotional detachment even in situations where I was physically surrounded by others.
Getting out of this loop wasn't simple, and it took time. However, acknowledging that I no longer wanted to live this way was the first step. I didn't want to look back and see that I had been living for years instead of truly living. I had to start actively working to find fulfillment, lessen stress, rediscover my passions, and mend my relationships. After a while, I felt like myself once more—not just someone surviving the day, but someone actively living life, finding happiness in the little things, and genuinely relating to others around me.
It is not intended for survival mode to be a permanent condition. It should never become a way of life, even if it could be required in trying circumstances. Because we lose sight of the things that truly make life worthwhile when we live only to survive.
Shifting from Survival to Living: Practical Steps
It takes time to make the transition from simply existing to genuinely living. Breaking the tendencies that keep us in survival mode needs a deliberate choice. It was difficult for me to undergo this metamorphosis myself. However, I became aware of how much of life I had been missing when I began making conscious efforts to live a life that was more joyful, fulfilling, and purposeful. These steps may be helpful to you if you're feeling stuck in the loop of barely making ends meet, as they were for me.
Rekindle Your Passions
The fact that I had totally lost touch with the things that used to bring me joy was one of my biggest awakenings. I used to like reading, traveling, and even doing basic things like writing down my ideas or drawing. However, I persuaded myself that I had no time for any of it when I was in survival mode. I convinced myself that these were "extra" things, luxury items that I couldn't afford since I had more important things to do.
I didn't understand how much I had been denying myself until one day I made myself pick up an old book. It was like reestablishing contact with a lost aspect of myself. Whether it was taking a stroll while listening to music or just sipping tea without worrying about what I had to accomplish next, that one simple gesture inspired me to start carving out more time for the things I liked. I began to feel more alive gradually as a result of doing things that made me happy instead of merely doing what I "had to" do.
Make Meaningful Goals
For a long time, I had no real sense of direction and was just rushing through the day from one activity to another. Sure, I had objectives, but they were largely about making ends meet, paying my bills, and taking care of my obligations. I never gave any thought to what I truly wanted from life, beyond just living.
My life seemed meaningless because I wasn't pursuing something worthwhile, I discovered when I finally took the time to sit down and ask myself what meant to me. I thus began establishing modest but deliberate goals—things that motivated and inspired me. I convinced myself that my goals were to regain contact with people I had lost touch with, acquire a new skill, and get healthier. I began taking tiny steps rather than trying to do too much at once. I resolved to walk every day, contacted old pals, and enrolled in an online course. Making any kind of improvement, no matter how tiny, gave me a sense of fulfillment that I never had from simply getting through the day.
Practice Mindfulness
Concerning yourself with the past or the future all the time was one of my worst survival-mode blunders. I would worry about things that hadn't even happened yet or mentally relive past blunders. I hardly ever lived in the here and now. My thoughts were elsewhere, even when I was physically present.
I didn't understand how much of my life I had been missing until I began to practice mindfulness. I discovered how to appreciate the little things in life, like the morning birdsong, the sun's warmth on my skin, and the flavor of my meals. Instead of only waiting for my turn to speak, I began to listen to discussions. Whether I was working, eating, or even simply sitting quietly, I tried to be in the present. Additionally, I recognized negative thoughts and then let them go rather than allowing them to control me. Instead of being absorbed in my anxieties all the time, this mental change allowed me to be more involved in my life.
Build Positive Relationships
When I was in survival mode, I unwittingly cut myself off from other people. I canceled plans, wasn't as present in discussions, and seldom tried to connect with the individuals I cared about. I was simply too psychologically worn out to give it my best, not because I didn't love them.
However, I came to see that the people in my life were what gave my life purpose. I thus resumed putting my connections first. I tried to stay in touch with my loved ones, pay attention to what they had to say and spend time with individuals who made me feel better rather than worse. My sensation of warmth and belonging increased as I reestablished relationships with the individuals who were important to me. Knowing that I had somebody to share my life with made it seem lighter.
Accept Change and Growth
Change was something I fought for a long time. Even when routines weren't making me happy, I followed them because they felt secure. However, I came to understand that we can only progress if we give ourselves permission to venture beyond our comfort zones. I began to say "yes" to novel experiences, despite my fear of them. I accepted new challenges, made new friends, and permitted myself to do new things.
Even though none of the experiences were flawless, I learned something from them all. I discovered that life isn't supposed to be stagnant and that we develop more the more we accept change. Instead of viewing life as a list of tasks I needed to complete, I began to view it as an adventure.
Make Self-Care a Priority
I was always putting my own health last while I was in survival mode. I seldom made time to rest, missed meals or ate whatever was handy, and didn't get enough sleep. I told myself I was too busy to take care of myself. But as time went on, I saw that ignoring myself simply made things more difficult.
I thus began making little adjustments. I really kept to the bedtime I established. Instead of merely filling me up, I made careful to consume meals that nourished me. I began exercising my body because it made me feel good, not simply because it was healthy. I discovered that it was better to take pauses when necessary rather than working myself to the bone. I felt more balanced, more vibrant, and ultimately more alive as a result of these small self-care activities.
Find Meaning in Challenges
I used to think that every obstacle was a burden. Every time anything went wrong, I felt helpless and overwhelmed. But as time went on, I saw that every obstacle presented a chance to develop and learn. I began to perceive challenges as teaching opportunities rather than obstacles.
I learned something from every failure, whether it was patience, resiliency, or a fresh perspective. Even the most difficult times have something worthwhile to share. I was able to move on from feeling mired in negativity thanks to this change in viewpoint.
Practice Gratitude
Being grateful was one of the easiest but most effective adjustments I made. It's simple to concentrate on what's lacking in life, but everything changed for me when I began to consciously value what I already had.
I made it a practice to express gratitude for at least one item each day, whether it was a nice discussion, a peaceful moment, or just the ability to survive the day. Being grateful made it clear to me that I had a lot to be grateful for, even in the midst of a less-than-ideal life. And I discovered greater happiness and contentment in daily life the more I concentrated on the positive.
The Role of Purpose and Fulfillment
I spent a lot of time feeling like I was only surviving, doing what was required of me instead of what gave me a sense of purpose. I didn't feel sad all the time, but I did have a persistent sense that something was lacking. Yes, I was living, but was I really surviving? I continued thinking about the query. And the more I gave it some consideration, the more I saw that I was lacking a genuine sense of purpose, something that would give my daily activities a deeper significance.
Finding My Purpose
I formerly believed that purpose had to be something significant, something that had a profound impact on the world. But I eventually discovered that, as long as they give your life meaning, even the most basic things may have significance. Purpose began to emerge for me in several spheres of my life. It was in the connections I made, the way I helped others around me, and the little things that made me feel like I was changing things, like lending a friend a helping hand during a difficult period or simply being kind to a stranger.
Additionally, I began to focus more on the things that thrilled me. What topics might I discuss for hours on end? Why did I feel such a strong connection to life? I gradually came to see that my passions—writing, interacting with people, and learning about other cultures—were more than simply pastimes; they were an integral part of who I was. They made it possible for me to live my life in a way that was rewarding rather than merely required.
After realizing this, I stopped waiting for fulfillment to find me and instead began actively seeking it out. I made an effort to give my employment purpose rather than just going to work because I had to. I tried to find methods to make my contributions feel more significant and personal rather than merely doing my tasks. The more I did this, the more I understood that purpose is something you constantly construct rather than something you discover once and then keep on forever.
Discovering True Fulfillment
I originally believed that after I got everything I desired—once I accomplished specific objectives or reached a specific point in my life—fulfillment would arrive. However, I was mistaken. Achieving significant milestones is not the only way to feel fulfilled; it also comes from enjoying the process of development, education, and deep connection.
When I began to create objectives that truly mattered to me, rather than just ones that looked nice on paper, I discovered fulfillment. I discovered it in following my curiosity, in little victories that gave me a sense of progress, and in opportunities to positively influence the lives of others.
One of the most important things I took away from this experience was that finding contentment frequently requires striking a balance between developing yourself and helping something bigger than yourself. Not only did I feel most alive when I accomplished something for myself, but also when I knew that I had shared an experience, assisted someone else, or even somewhat improved the world.
Everything changed when I began actively producing fulfillment in my everyday life rather than relying on anything outside of myself to complete me.
Accepting the Life's Journey Completely
Making the transition from just existing to really living is a continuous process rather than a single choice. Stopping waiting for the "perfect moment" to begin living was something I had to learn. In actuality, life is happening now rather than in some far-off future when everything will work itself out.
However, embracing life's path isn't always simple. It takes work, bravery, and self-awareness. It means recognizing that happiness is something you build along the way and letting go of the notion that it's something you find after a lengthy journey.
Taking Responsibility for My Life
I spent a lot of time blaming my situation for my lack of happiness. I used to convince myself things like, "I could finally enjoy life if I had more time, money, and freedom." However, I realized that waiting for outside circumstances to improve was merely keeping me in my current situation.
I posed a difficult question to myself one day: What if I never receive all I believe I need to be content? Would I continue to survive rather than to live?
The inquiry served as a wake-up call. I was aware that I needed to quit putting things off and take charge of my own happiness. I began making modest but deliberate decisions, including choosing to spend time with positive people, creating instead of consuming, and taking risks despite my fear. I felt more alive than I have in years when I did so.
Celebrating My Progress
I used to seldom stop to consider how far I had come since I was always so preoccupied with what I still needed to do. When you're always focused on the future, it's easy to lose sight of progress, but I found that acknowledging and appreciating even the slightest victories really improved my outlook on life.
Whether it's a new habit, a lesson learned, or just the fact that I'm trying, I now make it a point to acknowledge my progress. Every step matters, and acknowledging those steps turns the path from a tiresome one into one that feels satisfying.
Being Kind to Myself
Being patient and compassionate to oneself was one of the most difficult but crucial lessons I had to master. There were moments when I felt caught in old habits, upset that I wasn't "living fully" yet, and questioned if I could change at all.
However, I've realized that being flawless isn't the goal of living completely. It's not about feeling content every day or making the correct decisions all the time. It's about letting yourself grow at your own speed, being present, and giving it your all.
I now tell myself that it's alright when I have days when I feel like I'm reverting to my survival mode. Growth is not a straight line. What matters is that I continue—that I continue to choose to live instead of merely exist.
Above all, I've discovered that living fully is a decision that we must make every day. And as soon as I began making that decision, my life changed in unexpected ways.