Lovesickness: Symptoms and How to Overcome it?

 Many people go through the intense emotional condition known as lovesickness at some point in their lives. It's a pervasive emotion that may impact the body and mind, making it difficult to focus on anything but the object of your infatuation. Whether you are going through a breakup, dealing with unrequited love, or are strongly attached to someone who doesn't feel the same way, lovesickness is more than simply a fleeting melancholy; it can be absolutely crippling.

It was devastating to watch my friend Sarah go through this, as I recall. She had fallen deeply in love with what she thought was her true love. At first, he made her feel unique in a way that no one else had, and he was charming and attentive. But as time went on, she came to understand that her sentiments were stronger than his. He viewed their time together as ephemeral, while she imagined a future with him. She became so distraught after the breakup that she was unable to eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything but what she had lost. She was utterly infatuated.

She needed months to recuperate, but with perseverance and deliberate healing, she was able to return to herself. Her experience serves as an excellent illustration of both the agony of lovesickness and the possibility of overcoming it.

What is Lovesickness?

Lovesickness is a genuine emotional state brought on by strong romantic affections, particularly when those feelings are complex or unrequited, even if it is not a medical illness. It may appear in a variety of ways, such as:

• Infatuation or obsession: Obsession or infatuation: When the person you want takes up all of your thoughts.
• Unrequited love: The heartbreaking sensation of yearning for someone who does not reciprocate your feelings is known as unrequited love.
• Heartbreak: The intense emotional pain that accompanies a rejection or breakup is known as heartbreak.
• Separation anxiety: The intense melancholy and loneliness experienced when you are separated from a loved one is known as separation anxiety.

Sarah went through almost all of these. She kept reliving their times together in the weeks following her breakup, dissecting every word he uttered and questioning whether she had done something wrong. Despite knowing deep down that she wouldn't receive a message from him, she would continuously check her phone in the hopes of receiving one. She was unable to concentrate on anything else because she was so consumed with what had been and what may have been.

What is Lovesickness Called?

It's common to refer to lovesickness as "limerence" or "romantic obsession." Often accompanied by uncontrolled thoughts, mood fluctuations, and physical symptoms including anxiety, sleeplessness, and appetite loss, it defines the overwhelming love for someone. Since love may be likened to addiction in many ways, some severe cases of lovesickness have even been likened to it. Dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline are released by the brain during romantic bonding, resulting in sensations of pleasure and closeness. However, the abrupt loss of these substances once that bond is broken can cause emotional withdrawal, which is similar to drug withdrawal.

It really seemed like withdrawal to Sarah. Even though she understood that texting him would just make her agony worse, she would tell me that the need was too strong. She had persuaded herself that everything would be better if she could just hear from him. However, each time she made contact and got a chilly or uninterested answer, her sorrow grew. It took her some time to understand that her feelings were not simply melancholy but rather the brain's response to emotional loss.

Symptoms of Lovesickness

Lovesickness may manifest emotionally as well as physically. Among the most typical symptoms are:

1. Anxiety and nervousness: An ongoing sense of tension, particularly while contemplating or engaging with the individual, is known as anxiety and uneasiness.
2. Mood swings: Changing in a few minutes from optimism to pessimism.
3. Loss of focus: Having trouble focusing on everyday obligations, employment, or study.
4. Insomnia: Lying awake at night while reliving memories or fretting about the future is known as insomnia.
5. Loss of appetite: When thinking about the individual, you feel physically ill.
6. Sadness and hopelessness: A sense of emptiness, particularly when feelings are not returned.
7. Physical discomfort: Emotional strain can cause headaches, tightness in the chest, and stomachaches.

Sarah fulfilled almost all of the requirements. She informed me that the food tasted like nothing and that she lost weight as a result of being unable to eat. She was unable to sleep and would spend her nights scrolling through previous messages, reading them over and again as though they had the answers to why everything had gone wrong. The most difficult aspect was that she continued to love him despite everything. She detested the fact that, despite the anguish they caused, she was unable to suppress her emotions.

Why Do We Feel Lovesick?

Lovesickness has profound biological roots. Dopamine and other feel-good chemicals rush our brains when we fall in love, making love thrilling, euphoric, and addicting. Emotional sadness results from a fast decline in these substances in the brain when that love is not reciprocated or is abruptly taken away. Heartbreak can feel so strong because, according to studies, emotional rejection triggers the same brain regions as physical pain.

According to Sarah, her sorrow felt like a "physical ache." In an attempt to keep herself together, she would grasp her chest. Even seemingly insignificant things, like passing a location they had visited or hearing a song they had listened to together, seemed like emotional landmines. She didn't know how to quit feeling that way, but she wanted to. At that point, she understood that healing required actively overcoming the emotions rather than passively waiting for them to go away.

How to Overcome Lovesickness

Recovering from lovesickness is a difficult process that takes time. However, emotional equilibrium may be restored with time and deliberate effort. This is how Sarah overcame her sadness in the end:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

Acknowledging the reality of lovesickness is the first step towards conquering it. Suppressing or ignoring emotions simply makes the suffering worse. At first, Sarah threw herself into her work and pretended everything was normal in an attempt to persuade herself that she was okay. In actuality, though, she wasn't doing well. She didn't begin to recover until she gave herself permission to feel all of her feelings, including sobbing when necessary and discussing her sadness honestly.

"I feel stupid for being this upset over him," she said to me one evening. I assured her that pain and love are never foolish. She had given someone a piece of herself, and it would be painful to lose that. The first step to moving on was to accept her sentiments rather than condemn them.

2. Take a Break from the Person

Cutting off communication, at least temporarily, is one of the most difficult yet essential healing processes. This was difficult for Sarah. In the hopes that he missed her too, she saved his number and continued to check his social media accounts. Yet each time she witnessed him moving on, it was like receiving another blow to the heart.

She eventually came to the conclusion that waiting would only make things worse for her. She eliminated all memories of him from her everyday life, muted his social media accounts, and banned his phone number. At first, it hurt, but gradually, she began to feel lighter. She stopped spending her days waiting impatiently for an unanswered text. She was now able to concentrate on herself because of the space.

3. Shift Your Focus

It's important to shift focus from the individual to other facets of life. Sarah immersed herself in new interests; she resumed painting, which she had put off throughout the relationship. She spent weekends laughing and feeling like herself after reconnecting with pals. Her heartbreak had less influence on her the more she surrounded herself with happy things.

4. Exercise

Engaging in physical activity is one of the best strategies to manage mental stress. Although Sarah wasn't a big gym goer, I recommended that we take a stroll together when she started to feel depressed. She first objected, preferring to remain in bed and browse through old photos while delving deeper into her emotions. But after a while, she consented.

We began with quick walks in the evening, and she quickly noticed how much better she felt afterward. Moving her body, getting some fresh air, and seeing the world beyond her sadness all seemed to help. To learn how to regulate her breathing and maintain her present-moment awareness, she even began going to yoga lessons. She gradually realized that each exercise, stretch, and deep breath helped her get a little bit out of her emotional haze.

5. Journal Your Thoughts

Writing may be a very effective therapeutic therapy. At first, Sarah rejected the notion, believing it would be ineffective. However, she picked up a notepad and began writing down her thoughts one night when she was having trouble falling asleep. She wrote of her love, her suffering, and the perplexity of desiring someone who didn't want her anymore.

She began to learn more about herself the more she wrote. She became aware of the patterns in her feelings, realized how much control she had ceded, and gradually started to change her viewpoint. Although it didn't make the grief go away, journaling assisted her in processing it. She would frequently review previous postings to see how far she had progressed. Even if it didn't feel like it, it provided her with evidence that healing was taking place.

6. Talk to Someone

Your grief seems to lessen when you express it for some reason. In her worst moments, Sarah turned to her close friends, including myself. I made careful to listen to her without passing judgment when she called me at odd hours to cry or complain.

But after a while, she turned to therapy instead of pals. She was first apprehensive because she believed that grief was not a compelling enough reason to consult a specialist. However, after only a few sessions, she became aware of the emotional burden she had been bearing from previous relationships as well as this tragedy. She was able to understand why she had clutched so tightly to someone who wasn't the appropriate fit for her and establish healthy emotional boundaries thanks to therapy.

7. Reframe Your Thinking

Sarah elevated her ex when she was at her lowest. No one else could ever make her feel the way he did, she told herself, and he was ideal. But as time went on, she started to realize how real their bond was.

She began to wonder about the things she had previously disregarded, such as the fact that she was always the one making the effort, that he never really placed her first, and that he sent conflicting messages. She gradually ceased romanticizing their relationship and realized that it was a temporary one.

That was a significant change in perspective. It made it possible for her to concentrate on what she genuinely deserved rather than yearning for someone who had already gone on.

8. Focus on Self-Care

Your physical and emotional health may suffer as a result of lovesickness. For weeks, Sarah had mistreated herself by isolating herself, skipping meals, and getting little sleep. Things started to change once she made self-care a priority.

Little deeds of self-compassion were part of her everyday practice. She resumed preparing nutritious meals, ensuring she slept enough, and enjoying little pleasures like reading, long baths, and music that uplifted her mood rather than engulfing her in nostalgia.

She gradually restored her feeling of self-worth by taking care of herself the way she hoped her ex had.

9. Set Boundaries

Sarah had trouble setting limits for a time, particularly when her ex would check in at random and give conflicting messages. It triggered old scars each time he reached out. But after a while, she understood that she could refuse.

For reasons of self-respect rather than rage, she decided to cease answering. She realized that interacting with him would only make her suffering worse. She eventually started to go forward without turning around after establishing strong emotional boundaries.

10. Take Your Time

Sarah discovered firsthand that healing takes time. She had days when she felt powerful and days when the grief returned. However, she learned to ride the waves rather than battle them.

Over time, the pain she experienced when thinking about him subsided. She was able to tour the areas they had been and listen to their old songs without feeling depressed. She eventually realized that she had let go—not just of him, but also of the associated version of herself.

When to Seek Professional Help

With time and self-care, lovesickness goes away for many people. However, for some, it may result in more serious mental health issues including obsessive thinking, anxiety, or despair. Seeking professional treatment is essential if you are experiencing self-destructive habits, retreating from loved ones, or being unable to function in everyday life.

Although it might seem like an endless tempest, lovesickness can ultimately pass, as demonstrated by Sarah's narrative. She came out stronger, smarter, and more aware of what she really deserved in a romantic relationship. If you're experiencing it, keep in mind that recovery takes time, but you will rediscover yourself if you do the correct actions.

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