10 Signs you have finally started to respect yourself

 The cornerstone of a happy and purposeful existence is self-respect. It influences your self-perception, how you let other people treat you, and how you handle difficulties. Without it, you may struggle with self-doubt, seek acceptance from the wrong sources, and continuously compromise your principles. Everything changes, though, when you genuinely respect yourself. You gain self-assurance, your relationships get better, and you make decisions that are in line with your happiness and well-being.

I am aware that this is not an easy trip. There have been times when I've let other people determine my value in social situations, at work, or even in day-to-day encounters. I used to say "yes" to things I didn't want to do to keep other people from being disappointed. I continually question my own choices because I let other people's ideas influence me too much. However, I came to understand that having self-respect isn't about being flawless; rather, it's about having enough self-worth to make decisions that are in your best interests, even if they aren't always the simplest.

It's a big step if you've begun to put your health first and alter the way you treat yourself. However, how can you be certain that you're treating yourself with genuine respect? The following are some telltale signals that you're headed in the correct direction:

1. You Set and Maintain Boundaries

The capacity to say "no" without feeling guilty is one of the most significant changes that occurs when you begin to appreciate yourself. You understand that safeguarding your energy is essential and not selfish. I used to feel guilty about refusing favors or invites because I believed I was being impolite or cruel. However, I eventually came to the realization that continuously caving in to other people left me feeling worn out and undervalued.

I now realize that setting limits is a way to take care of oneself. You don't need to apologize or defend them. You have every right to refuse anything if it makes you uncomfortable or drains you. And when you do, you'll see that you'll gain greater respect from the appropriate individuals.

This change may manifest in a variety of ways:

• You cut off contact with those that sap your vitality, whether they be manipulative lovers, poisonous friends, or domineering family members.
• When establishing limits, you cease over-explaining yourself—"No" becomes a full phrase.
• You put your needs first without feeling bad about letting people down.

You can no longer put up with being taken advantage of or treated like an option when you value yourself. You no longer go out of your way to please people at the expense of yourself, and you stick to your convictions.

2. You No Longer Seek Constant Validation

Reaching a stage where you can feel good about yourself without the approval of others is tremendously liberating. I recall a time when I would obsess over every small detail, including my appearance, my speech, and even my beliefs. Before sharing anything on social media, I would think about whether or not others would find it appealing. I didn't trust myself enough, so I would look for confirmation for choices I already knew were good for me.

However, self-respect alters that. You begin to trust your own judgment more when you respect yourself. You no longer need approval, likes, or praise to prove your value. We all like to be appreciated and recognized, of course, but the difference is that it doesn't have to be the basis for your sense of value. Instead of doing things to get approval from other people, you start doing them because they feel right to you.

This also entails fearlessly accepting your uniqueness. You give up caring about conforming to stereotypes or exceeding irrational standards. Knowing that your worth isn't determined by how many others think well of you makes you feel at ease in your own skin.

3. You Walk Away from Things That No Longer Serve You

Whether it's a relationship, a career, or a circumstance that used to seem right but now doesn't, it can be difficult to let go. There have been times when I've hung on too long out of fear of change or concern about other people's opinions. I told myself that if I simply put in more effort, I could make it work and that things would improve. In actuality, however, being in circumstances that drain you merely deprives you of your enjoyment and personal development.

Self-respect entails having the guts to leave when something is no longer beneficial to you. It entails realizing that you don't have to remain in situations where you feel unloved, invisible, or devalued. You owe it to yourself to quit a relationship that no longer makes you happy, a job that makes you sad, or a friendship that seems one-sided.

Indeed, it can be frightening to leave. It's far worse to remain in a setting that makes you less bright. You create space for something greater when you let go of things that no longer serve you. You give yourself access to people and situations that support your development and well-being.

4. You take care of your physical and mental well-being.

The way you treat your body and mind is one of the most obvious indicators of self-respect. I ignored my health for a long time; I would eat whatever was handy rather than feeding my body, stay up late browsing on my phone, and disregard my mental health because I believed I could just "push through." But as time went on, I discovered that valuing oneself entails caring for oneself on the inside as much as the outside.

You begin to make decisions that promote your general well-being when you genuinely respect who you are. This comprises:

• Consuming meals that provide you energy instead of merely engaging in bad practices that make you feel lethargic.
• Exercise is important because it helps you feel strong, energized, and healthy—not only to maintain a specific appearance.
• Putting sleep first and scheduling self-care activities, such as therapy, meditation, or just relaxing guilt-free.

Making consistent decisions that respect your body and mind is more important than striving for perfection when it comes to self-care. It's about realizing that you have a right to bodily and mental well-being.

5. You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

One of the main barriers to self-respect is comparison. The fact is that no one has your precise experience, your problems, or your special abilities. It's easy to feel like you're not accomplishing enough, successful enough, or attractive enough when you look at other people. On occasion, I've looked through social media and saw folks who appeared to be well-organized, which made me wonder whether I was lagging. However, the more I valued myself, the more I saw the futility of that way of thinking.

Respecting oneself causes you to turn your attention inside. You begin to value your own development rather than comparing your life to someone else's highlight reel. You understand that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to pleasure and success and that you are not necessarily failing because someone else is succeeding. You start to appreciate your accomplishments, no matter how minor, and have faith that your journey will be completed in due time.

You release yourself from needless strain and permit yourself to develop at your own speed the instant you quit comparing. Instead of obsessing over what you need, you are grateful for what you already have. Most significantly, you grow to understand that your value originates within and isn't based on how you compare to other people.

6. You Take Responsibility for Your Life

The realization that I had to take charge of my own happiness and that no one was going to help me was one of the most significant turning moments in my quest for self-respect. Whether it's an unsupportive family, a toxic ex, or a challenging employer, it's simple to place the blame for our situation on other people. However, you stop making excuses and take charge when you genuinely appreciate yourself.

This means:

Accepting responsibility for your errors rather than avoiding responsibility.

Deciding not just what is required of you but also what is best for you.

Realizing that although you have no control over anything, you do influence how you react.

Accepting responsibility is realizing that you can influence your own life, and not being harsh on yourself. You discover your full strength when you make deliberate decisions and stop waiting for outside events to alter.

7. You Surround Yourself with Positive People

Your sense of self-respect is greatly influenced by the individuals you choose to surround yourself with. Because I didn't want to be alone, I persisted in friendships even if I felt exhausted, devalued, or even insulted. However, as time went on, I discovered that exercising self-respect means choosing carefully who you let into your life.

You can no longer put up with negativity, gossip, or individuals that pull you down when you value yourself. You surround yourself with positive and encouraging people—friends who respect your limits, acknowledge your accomplishments, and offer encouragement. You give up on relationships that demand that you sacrifice your morals or shrink yourself to fit in.

Since nobody is flawless, this does not imply excluding people because of small imperfections. However, it does include identifying poisonous relationships and having the guts to leave them. You feel more confident and empowered to be who you are when you are surrounded by people who value and respect you.

8. You Accept Yourself Fully

Setting limits and making moral decisions are only two aspects of self-respect; the other is how you view yourself. You're not genuinely appreciating yourself if you're always berating yourself for your errors, shortcomings, or defects. I used to constantly relive my previous mistakes and wish I had been different in a lot of ways because I was my own harshest critic. But as time went on, I came to understand that accepting oneself with all of its imperfections is the key to having true self-respect.

You cease criticizing yourself for past errors when you appreciate yourself. You understand that learning, not self-punishment, is the path to advancement. You embrace your peculiarities, your talents, and even your flaws because you understand that they all contribute to your unique identity.

This implies that you continue to work toward betterment, but you do so in a compassionate manner. You begin to say, "I'm growing, and that's enough," rather than, "I'm not good enough." You learn to value yourself for who you are and treat yourself with the same kindness that you would show a friend.

9. You Speak Kindly to Yourself

The way you speak to yourself is one of the most significant changes that occurs when you respect yourself. I used to have a critical inner monologue where I was always questioning myself and concentrating on my shortcomings. However, I understood why I was saying such things to myself if I didn't say them to someone I cared about.

When you value yourself, you replace self-deprecating thoughts with positive ones. You remind yourself that everyone learns from mistakes rather than labeling yourself "stupid" for making one. You begin to reinforce yourself by stating things like "I deserve good things," "I am capable," and "I am enough."

It matters how you talk to yourself. You develop resilience, confidence, and a stronger feeling of self-worth when your inner voice is encouraging rather than judgmental.

10. You Chase Your Dreams Without Fear

Believing that you deserve the life you want is a sign of self-respect. It entails refusing to accept mediocrity out of fear of failure. It entails pursuing your objectives despite their scary nature because you believe that you are worthy of pleasure and achievement.

I used to be self-conscious, asking myself, "What if I fail? What if I don't measure up? However, those anxieties vanished the minute I began to value myself. I came to see that failure is only a part of the process and does not represent my value. You take chances, move outside of your comfort zone, and believe that you can do great things when you value yourself.

You no longer allow self-doubt to prevent you from going for your goals. Instead, you tell yourself that you deserve whatever you desire because you are strong and capable.

Self-respect is a process rather than something that happens all at once. It entails making decisions that are in line with your well-being, letting go of harmful behaviors and unlearning old habits. However, you get greater power the more you put it into practice.

Congratulations! You are respecting yourself in the greatest manner imaginable if you identify yourself in these indications. It's also OK if you're still working on some of these areas. Every action you do to value yourself is a positive step toward achieving self-respect, which is a lifetime process.

The most crucial thing to keep in mind? As you are, you are worthy. Continue to value yourself, and see how your life changes.

Read More

8 ways to stay calm in difficult times

 Despite our best efforts to prepare, obstacles always seem to find us since life is full of unexpected turns. These difficulties can occasionally be minor, such as handling a demanding workday or failing to meet a crucial deadline. At other times, they are too much to handle—health issues, financial hardships, personal losses, or world problems that make us feel insecure. It seems hard to remain composed at these times. It is hard to think clearly or make logical judgments when the mind is racing, the pulse is pounding, and emotions take control. I am all too familiar with this.

I've experienced my share of stressful situations where I felt trapped in a loop of overanalyzing and couldn't concentrate on anything but the current issue. However, I've seen by experience that although stress is unavoidable, how we respond to it matters much. Maintaining composure does not mean denying issues or acting as though nothing is wrong. It's about focusing on the here and now, taking charge of what you can, and developing the ability to think clearly when faced with obstacles. These are some useful techniques that I've found work well for maintaining composure when life seems too much to handle.

1. Practice Deep Breathing

My breathing changes when I'm under stress, and that's one of the first things I notice. It gets hurried and superficial, which exacerbates my anxiety. When we are under stress, our bodies naturally go into "fight or flight" mode. The good news is that by intentionally altering our breathing patterns, we can reverse this reaction. The parasympathetic nervous system is triggered by deep breathing, which aids in the body's relaxation and equilibrium.

The 4-7-8 breathing method is one that I employ, and I can attest to its efficacy. When I'm feeling overburdened, I stop and perform the following:

• For four seconds, I inhaled deeply through my nose until my lungs were full.
• Let the oxygen flow through my body by holding my breath for seven seconds.
• Release all of the stress I've been holding in by exhaling slowly and completely from my lips for eight seconds.

After going through this cycle a few times, I feel notably more at ease in a matter of minutes. Box breathing, which involves taking a four-second breath, holding it for four seconds, letting it out for four seconds, and then repeating the process, is another easy method that is quite effective.

I've recommended these techniques to friends and family, and they've also found them to be quite helpful, particularly in times of stress or annoyance. The best thing about deep breathing is that you can do it anywhere: at work, before a crucial meeting, during a heated argument, or even while you're laying in bed and your mind won't stop racing.

I've also found that deep breathing works better when combined with calming music or natural noises. When I practice, I occasionally listen to soothing ocean waves or gentle instrumental music, which helps me relax even more. I strongly suggest giving this a try if you haven't already.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

The fact that worrying about things I can't control merely saps my energy is one of the most difficult lessons I've ever had to master. Sometimes, whether it was other people's behavior, unanticipated unpleasant news, or future uncertainty, I became fixated on circumstances over which I had no control. However, my sense of helplessness and anxiety increased as I became more obsessed with these things.

I found that changing my perspective to concentrate on the things I could control helped. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by worries about outside circumstances, I began to question myself:

• What can I do at this moment?
• How do I adjust to this circumstance?
• Where can I use my energy most effectively right now?

For instance, during a particularly trying moment at work, I concentrated on what I could accomplish, such as better organizing my tasks, enhancing my time management, and creating modest, attainable objectives, rather than stressing about decisions that were beyond my control. Instead of feeling stuck in a stressful cycle, this small change gave me a sense of empowerment.

I've also found that writing things down has been really beneficial. Every time I feel overburdened, I take out a notepad and write down everything that's on my mind. I then review the list and mark everything that is out of my control. My attention is focused on what I can do about the remaining issues. My mental clarity and tranquility have greatly increased as a result of this exercise.

I urge you to give this strategy a try if you're currently coping with a difficult situation. Take a minute to identify what you can and cannot manage rather than allowing concern to overtake you. When you let go of things that aren't required, you'll be shocked at how much lighter you feel.

3. Engage in Physical Activity

The impact that exercise has on our mental health is astounding. Exercise is one of the finest natural stress relievers available, yet I used to undervalue the link between physical activity and stress reduction.

I always make it a point to move, even if it's only for a little stroll if I'm feeling stressed, nervous, or overwhelmed. Something about being outside, taking in the fresh air, and sensing my body moving helps me feel more rooted right away.

I find that different types of exercise are effective in various contexts. I take a quick stroll or jog if I need to decompress and think things out. I find that a high-intensity workout helps me let go of any pent-up tension or irritability. Yoga is my go-to on days when I simply want something relaxing because it helps me relax and re-establish a connection with my body via stretching, breathing exercises, and completing positions.

Additionally, I make it a point to include little motions in my day, particularly when I'm stressed or busy. My mood is much improved by even small activities like dancing to my favorite music, stretching for a few minutes, or performing a few jumping jacks.

I strongly advise you to attempt adding physical activity to your daily routine if you're feeling overburdened. Find something that makes you feel alive and good for you instead of spending hours at the gym.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Getting sucked into a mental tornado is one of the most difficult things I've encountered when managing stress. I find it hard to concentrate on the here and now since my mind is constantly racing with "what ifs" and worst-case situations. For me, that's where meditation and mindfulness have changed my life.

The practice of mindfulness involves paying close attention to one's thoughts, feelings, and environment while avoiding passing judgment. It teaches you to calm down, accept your feelings, and distance yourself from stressful situations. I found it difficult to sit still and concentrate when I first attempted mindfulness, but I eventually discovered that it doesn't have to be difficult.

I use mindfulness in my everyday life in the following ways:

• Morning meditation: I take five to ten minutes to sit in a peaceful spot, close my eyes, and concentrate on my breathing before I begin my day. I simply watch my thoughts without getting carried away; I don't strive to suppress them.
• Mindful activities: I occasionally try to be attentive when performing basic duties like washing dishes, having a shower, or even just drinking tea. I really immerse myself in the experience by concentrating on the sensations—the warmth of the water, the scent of my tea, the sounds surrounding me.
• Gratitude journaling: Keeping a gratitude diary has assisted me in changing my perspective from what's wrong with my life to what I still have. I write down three things for which I am thankful every day. It's a minor habit, yet it has a significant impact on how I view difficulties.

I utilize the "5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique," one of my favorite mindfulness exercises, anytime I start to feel anxious. This is how it works:

• Name 5 things you can see.
• Name 4 things you can touch.
• Name 3 things you can hear.
• Name 2 things you can smell.
• Name 1 thing you can taste.

This practice pauses my nervous thoughts and swiftly brings me back to the present. Try it if you're ever feeling overwhelmed—I swear it helps!

5. Limit Exposure to Negative News

I used to read through the news first thing in the morning because I believed it was crucial to be informed. However, I quickly discovered that an excessive amount of bad news was depressing me and keeping me on edge all the time. Being informed of global events is important, but too much exposure to negative news can exacerbate worry and despair.

I've since created better news habits that enlighten me without being overbearing:

• Setting time limits: I schedule a definite period, generally once in the morning and once in the evening, to catch up on the news rather than monitor it throughout the day. This keeps me from being caught up in a never-ending doomscrolling loop.
• Selecting reliable sources: I steer clear of sensationalized news and only trust sites that emphasize facts over scare tactics.
• Balancing news with positive content: I always look for positive items in addition to any depressing headlines I come across, whether they are humorous videos that make me laugh inspirational news, or personal development articles.

If viewing or reading the news causes you to feel nervous, think about reducing your intake. It just means safeguarding your mental well-being so that you can comprehend knowledge without feeling exhausted; it doesn't imply denying the truth.

6. Connect with Loved Ones

6. Communicate with Those You Love

I have occasionally attempted to manage stress on my own since I felt that I didn't want to bother other people with my issues. However, I've discovered that relying on loved ones in trying times is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

I feel lighter whenever I connect with a friend or relative, even only for a little conversation. My mental health may improve just by sharing a joke, talking about what's on my mind, or hearing someone say, "I understand."

In times of extreme stress, I make it a point to:

• Call or video chat with someone I trust.
• Meet up with a friend for coffee or a walk.
• Send a quick text just to check in and connect.

Don't isolate yourself if you're going through a terrible time. You have folks that want to help you and care about you. A little discussion with an understanding person can have a profound impact.

7. Establish a Healthy Routine

One thing I've observed is that my schedule tends to break down when things become hectic. I neglect to take breaks, skip exercises, eat badly, and get less sleep, all of which exacerbate stress. I've thus made it a point to establish a daily schedule that helps me stay grounded, even under trying circumstances.

Here are some things that support my ability to stay balanced:

• Prioritizing sleep: Every night, I try to get seven to nine hours of sleep. I avoid using electronics just before bed and maintain a regular bedtime since getting too little sleep makes everything feel more daunting.
• Eating healthy foods: When I'm under stress, I aim to eat meals that provide my body energy instead of turning to junk food. My energy levels noticeably change when I eat balanced meals and drink adequate water.
• Taking breaks: I remind myself that productivity isn't about working continuously, but about working wisely. I do this by stretching, going outdoors for some fresh air, or just stopping to breathe.

Start modestly if stress has disrupted your routine. Concentrate on one habit at a time, such as getting better sleep, eating more nutrient-dense meals, or scheduling downtime. Little, regular acts can have a significant effect.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

Perhaps the most significant thing I've learned is to treat oneself with kindness.

When things don't go as planned, we may be very hard on ourselves. I used to criticize myself for experiencing anxiety or for not managing stress "perfectly," but I eventually concluded that doing so just made matters worse.

Rather than berating myself, I now engage in self-compassion by:

• Addressing myself in the same manner as I would a friend. I would never tell a buddy they were "failing" or "not good enough" if they were having difficulties. Why would I say it to myself, then?
• Stress is natural, I remind myself. Everybody has bad days. Being overwhelmed is a sign of my humanity, not weakness.
• Letting myself take breaks. I no longer endure fatigue to satisfy irrational demands. Additionally, rest is productive.

Please remember to treat yourself with kindness if you're going through a difficult moment. It's sufficient that you're trying your best.

We will always face difficulties in life, but how we handle them will determine how things turn out. Maintaining composure requires learning to deal with stress in a patient, resilient, and self-careful manner rather than trying to escape it.

I urge you to attempt at least one of these techniques if you ever feel overburdened. Determine what suits you the most, then include it in your regular schedule. You'll develop the capacity to handle difficulties with composure and a clear head with time and practice.

You're capable. 💙

Read More

Rising from the Ashes – My Journey of Strength, Struggles, and Success

 Although I have never had an easy life, each obstacle I have overcome has helped me become the person I am today. My family never loved all the children evenly when I was born. Being the middle child, I always felt invisible since my mother took care of my older sister and preferred my younger sister, leaving me to fend for myself. But I was powerful even as a kid.

I assumed obligations much above my capabilities because my father was not living with us as he was working overseas, and my one and only brother, who was older than I, joined him later. I did home chores, went to school by myself, and performed jobs that were typically performed by men in our culture. Although difficult, it helped me become self-sufficient. I also enjoyed my life as a young girl who was going out for groceries and other small stuff like bread etc.. I learnt a lot about how to deal with people, and people always respected me and guided me. I wanted to become a doctor, but that didn't happen, as in our society, girls were getting married by the age of 18.

A Marriage That Changed Everything

I got married at the age of 17. My aspirations of a well-educated, compassionate spouse dimmed as I was forced to live in a busy home with challenging in-laws in the joint family system. We always had a maid at my parents' place, therefore, I had never done any home chores before, like cleaning, dish washing, cooking, etc., and my spouse was illiterate. Although the change seemed daunting, I adjusted.

My circumstances deteriorated when I became pregnant shortly after. My in-laws threw us out of the house when I was seven months pregnant. Since I had nowhere else to go, I went back to my mother's house, and my husband shared housing. I gave birth to my first kid, a gorgeous baby boy, two months later.

I had to sell my gold jewelry to pay for my mother's insistence that I buy a house rather than rent one. We lived in a tiny, one-room house, and my husband made just enough money to buy us two meals a day. We were left with just difficulties and uncertainty—no furnishings or a suitable bed.

Surviving Abuse and Building a Future

My spouse started assaulting me, revealing his true nature. However, he would show me so much love after each violent outburst that it was difficult for me to leave. Eventually, in an attempt to settle our lives, my father employed him overseas. After my husband departed, I moved back in with my mother and sold our house for half its original price.

He said he couldn't survive without me when he came back six months later. He pledged to help me, to change, and to create a better future. I bought another property with my funds, believing him once again. As always, though, it was I who organized the funds, made the sacrifices, and fought to keep us afloat. I still had to borrow money from my sister, even after our son became really ill and required hospitalization.

My obligations increased as I had additional kids over time. Additionally, my husband's attitude changed; he no longer offered me any assistance at all. I was aware that I needed to take charge of my life. After learning how to tailor, I enrolled at an institution to acquire computer skills and English since I always believed that I need to learn everything I need to give my children, and I wanted to see them educated well-mannered citizens.

Discovering the Online World

I went to classes and made friends who introduced me to the Internet while my kids were in school. I studied Photoshop, made online profiles, and looked at ways to make money. I gained a better understanding of human psychology by chatting with people from all backgrounds, and I applied that understanding to enhance my commercial acumen.

However, my husband kept disappointing me. He never made any financial contributions, so I was left to handle the home by myself. I made the decision to move into a larger home for my expanding family, but my husband, as always, kept his word. I had to approach my sister for assistance when it came time to make the payment. I remained supportive of him despite his shortcomings.

Turning Struggles into Success

In 2015, I launched a blog and learned how to make money using Google without my husband's help. To generate more revenue, I also assisted others in setting up Facebook pages. I gradually started to establish myself and take charge of my finances and life.

My father died one day, and I was devastated. He was the one person I really loved, and he had always been my rock. But I felt I had to continue even if I was grieving. My kids were growing up; my daughter had aspirations of attending Oxford, but we were unable to pay for them, so she had to drop out after the 12th grade. Her passion for English and her aptitude for picking up accents from films, particularly Harry Potter, helped her land a position with the British Council.

Chasing a New Life Abroad

I got to the point where I wanted to quit the nation. My daughter and I filed for a Canadian visa after my parents passed away, and I had nothing stopping us, yet our application was denied. We went to Dubai on study visas, determined not to give up. While I was pursuing a chef's degree, my daughter worked as a barista.

A year later, reality set in. Because of my age, I was turned down for jobs despite my best efforts. We had to make the tough choice to go back home because we had spent almost all of our money.

I sold everything before I left, including my vehicle, house, and gold, and I moved my spouse and sons into a rented home. I thought my husband would finally take action when I got back, but he kept doing nothing. I wouldn't share a roof with him until he accepted responsibility.

A New Beginning, Once Again

My oldest son daughter, and I relocated to a new city. We started afresh after finding a home close by and a shop. My spouse remained, still relying on me to support him. I informed him that although I was tired of the arguments and stress, I would provide financial support if necessary.

My daughter works as a barista at my coffee business, which I now own and operate. I continue to publish blogs to increase my income and grow my company. Even though life has been unforgiving, I'm not giving up. I'm 48 years old and still battling, dreaming, and moving forward.

I am no longer the woman who was mistreated, the wife who was abandoned to fight alone, or the girl who was disregarded. I am a mother, a survivor, and a businessman. I've started my life from the beginning, and I'm certain that I will always strive for the life I deserve, no matter what happens.

Read More

Subtle Signs of Low Self-Esteem: 10 Behaviors You Might Not Realize You’re Doing

 Self-esteem is a complex concept. Until you stand back and truly examine your actions, you may not even be aware of how much it influences your relationships, decisions, and mental health. I used to believe I had a respectable level of self-esteem, but as time went on, I began to see little patterns that revealed a different picture—things I did without realizing it that revealed a deeper problem with self-worth.

You may be suffering from low self-esteem without even recognizing it if you've ever felt like you're always doubting yourself, downplaying your accomplishments, or finding it difficult to say no. These are eleven indicators that I have personally encountered, along with my insights on how to overcome them.

1. Apologizing Excessively

I used to say "sorry" all the time for things that didn't even need an apology, which was excessive. asking a question, bumping into someone, spending too long to respond to a text, or simply being there. People began pointing it up since it had become so commonplace: "Why are you apologizing? There was nothing wrong." I then saw that I wasn't only being kind; rather, I was terrified of causing trouble.

How I'm Trying: I now make an effort to stop myself before I apologize needlessly. I remark, "Thanks for your patience," rather than, "Sorry for the delay." Changing the way I speak has made me feel more comfortable in social situations.

2. Avoiding Compliments or Downplaying Achievements

I tended to dismiss compliments whenever they were given to me. "Oh, it didn't matter," or "I was fortunate." I was unable to accept that I truly merited the praise. I realized that this was a result of my inability to see my own value—I felt unworthy of being praised.

How I'm Working on It: I now try hard to just say "Thank you." No backtracking, no defending—just admitting that my work is worthy of praise.

3. Seeking Constant Validation from Others

I used to be completely preoccupied with gaining other people's acceptance. I required confirmation that I was doing the right things, that I was loved, and that I was competent. I depended on outside approval to feel good about myself, whether it was by continuously asking people, "Do you think I did okay?" or by looking at how many likes I received on social media.

How I'm Approaching It: I start by attempting to affirm myself. I record little victories in my diary, and rather than looking to other people for validation, I remind myself of my own accomplishments.

4. Overthinking and Second-Guessing Decisions

For me, making decisions used to be a nightmare. Even the tiniest decisions, like selecting a restaurant, sending a text, or deciding what to dress, would cause me great distress. I was always worried that I would make a poor decision or that others would think poorly of me.

How I'm Working on It: To gain confidence, I made rapid, modest, low-risk decisions. If I choose the "wrong" eatery? Not a huge deal. I tell myself that I don't have to overanalyze everything and that perfection isn't required.

5. Avoiding Challenges or New Opportunities

I have long let my fear of failing to keep me from taking risks. I wouldn't even bother when I saw an opportunity because I would instantly think, "I'm not good enough for this." The worst thing? This kind of thinking caused me to lose out on a lot of experiences.

My current approach is to reinterpret failure as a learning opportunity. I question myself, "What if I learn something new?" rather than, "What if I fail?" I have been able to take more chances by pushing myself, even if only a little.

6. Difficulty Setting Boundaries

When I was younger, I said yes to everything. even when I didn't want to or was too tired or stressed. I put a lot of effort into attempting to please everyone since I didn't want to offend anyone. The outcome? Resentment, burnout, and a sense of being taken advantage of.

How I'm Getting Better: I now remind myself that saying no isn't impolite; rather, it's essential. "I'd love to help, but I don't have the capacity right now," is a phrase I've learned to use. Since I no longer feel overburdened, setting boundaries has actually strengthened my relationships.

7. Negative Self-Talk

I was terrible at talking to myself. In my mind, I would say things like "You're so stupid," "You'll never succeed," and "You're not good enough" that I would never say to a buddy. It wasn't until I began to pay attention to these ideas that I realized how much they were impacting my confidence.

How I'm Approaching It: I currently engage in self-compassion exercises. I pause and rethink my thoughts when I notice that they are negative. I remark, "I'm still learning," rather than, "I'm terrible at this." My feelings have significantly changed as a result of altering the way I speak to myself.

8. Comparing Yourself to Others

For me, social media made this behavior worse. I used to feel like I wasn't measuring up as I scrolled through pictures of people accomplishing goals, looking stunning, and leading ideal lives. The reality? I was contrasting my behind-the-scenes footage with the highlight reel of another person.

How I'm Approaching It: I remind myself that people only post their greatest experiences on social media, so I try to spend less time there. I concentrate on my own path and development rather than evaluating myself against others.

9. Being Overly Critical of Others

It wasn't until I gave it some thought that I realized this one was related to low self-esteem. I occasionally caught myself passing judgment on other people when I was insecure. It wasn’t because I actually disliked them—it was because I was projecting my own insecurities.

How I'm Dealing with It: Now, whenever I feel the need to pass judgment, I question myself, Am I feeling uncomfortable about myself or am I genuinely angry with them? Changing my viewpoint has made me more understanding of myself and other people.

10. Struggling to Accept Help

I used to believe that seeking assistance was a sign of weakness or incapacity. Even when I was having trouble, I wanted to manage everything by myself. But denying assistance just made matters more difficult.

How I'm Trying: I tell myself that asking for help doesn't make me weak; rather, it shows that I'm a person. I now make an effort to say "Thank you" rather than "I got it" when I obviously don't, whether it's for career guidance, emotional support, or simply someone holding the door open.

Why It's Important to Address Low Self-Esteem

It wasn't until I began to pay attention that I realized how much my life was being impacted by poor self-esteem. It affected my happiness, my relationships, and my choices. However, things improved when I recognized these tendencies and began to work on altering them.

Practical Steps That Have Helped Me Boost My Self-Esteem:

• Engage in self-compassion: Speaking to yourself as you would a friend.
• Establish Achievable Goals: Start with minor victories and work your way up.
• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Be in the company of positive individuals who encourage and support you.
• Take Part in Activities You Enjoy: Having fun increases your sense of value.
• Seek Professional Assistance: For me, therapy has been a game-changer in comprehending and conquering issues related to self-esteem.

You're not alone if you can identify with any of these symptoms. The good news? You may develop self-esteem over time; it is not a set quality. Be patient with yourself, start small, and never forget that you are worthy just the way you are. ❤️

Read More

10 Signs Your Friendship Might Be One-Sided—and How to Address It

 Friendships are meant to be based on respect, understanding, and work. But what happens when you start feeling like you’re the only one trying? I know what it's like to be emotionally spent and wonder if a friendship is still worth maintaining. Recognizing one-sided friendships is essential for your general and mental health since they are draining.

I'll discuss several indicators I've seen in my personal experiences as well as how I've dealt with them.

1. You Always Initiate Contact

I always started by reaching out to a friend of mine a few years back. It was me that texted, planned, and checked in. We just wouldn't communicate if I didn't text first. It took me a long to discover that someone will try to make an effort if they genuinely respect your presence. A good friendship should be mutually beneficial rather than one-sided.

2. They only get in touch when they're in need.

This one hurts. My buddy would go weeks without speaking to me, yet they would always come through for me when they needed guidance, a favor, or emotional support. I initially persuaded myself that they may simply be busy. But after a while, I understood that they were just interested in what I had to give, not in me. Not merely because they need anything, a true friend will check in because they care.

3. One-sided conversations

Have you ever had a buddy who always speaks about themselves but seldom pays attention when you try to share anything with them? This has happened to me, and it's annoying. I recall listening to lengthy tirades about their issues, romances, and drama, only to discover that they never inquired about my well-being. It's a clear indication of an unbalanced friendship if they are the topic of your chats.

4. They Rarely Celebrate Your Successes

There was a buddy of mine who never seemed to be pleased with me. They would minimize my exciting news, divert the conversation, or worse, pretend to compete with me. Genuine friends will encourage you rather than act as though your accomplishments are a bother to them. Do they truly deserve to remain in your life if they are unable to enjoy your victories?

5. You Feel Drained After Interactions

Relationships need to make you feel better, not worse. I recall feeling as though I had just finished an emotional marathon as certain chats came to an end. Something is wrong if you always feel exhausted rather than supported while you're around that person.

6. They Don’t Make Time for You

Even though we all have hectic lives, people will make time for you if they appreciate you. A buddy of mine used to constantly have an excuse: "Something just came up," "too busy," or "too tired." Interestingly enough, though, they always made time for others. Someone's priorities are evident when they only make time for you when it's convenient for them.

7. You’re Always Compromising

I once came to the realization that I was the one who was always adapting—altering my plans, making extra effort, and even compromising my morals to make room for a so-called buddy. However, I never received the same leniency when I needed it. There should be balance in friendships. Asking yourself why you are usually the one making compromises is a good idea.

8. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Instead of pushing your boundaries, a friend should respect them. Someone in my life consistently disregarded my boundaries, whether it was by downplaying my emotions, forcing me into awkward circumstances, or dismissing my need for space. Someone is not respecting you if they consistently break your boundaries, which are there for a purpose.

9. They Don’t Support You During Tough Times

Some individuals are just around for the good times, and that's the toughest revelation I've ever experienced. I recall going through a difficult time and observing that several of my friends had disappeared. There was stillness, no check-ins, no messages. A person isn't a true friend if they just show up while things are enjoyable and then vanish when things get difficult.

10. You Doubt Their Loyalty

Have you ever wondered if a buddy is truly on your side? Perhaps they are gossiping about you behind your back, or you suspect that they wouldn't stand up for you if necessary. Let me tell you, it's tiring to continually question the loyalty of a buddy. A friendship will always seem shaky if you can't trust them.

How to Handle a One-Sided Relationship

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Take a step back and evaluate your feelings about this connection before making any judgments. Consider this: Do I feel appreciated? Am I being heard? Or do I sense that I'm being exploited? Making a change begins with acknowledging your feelings.

2. Have Open Communication

Have an open discussion if you determine that the friendship is worth preserving. I understand that these conversations might be awkward, but they are essential. Instead of saying "You never text me," use "I" statements like "I feel like I'm always reaching out first." This method focuses more on your feelings and less on confrontation.

3. Set Boundaries

If your friend constantly crosses lines, it’s time to establish boundaries. Let them know what you need and expect in the friendship. If they care, they’ll respect that. If they don’t—well, that tells you everything you need to know.

4. See How They React

Calling out someone's actions won't always be properly received. Take note of their response. Do they try to alter their behavior? Or do they brush off your emotions? You may decide whether to maintain this friendship based on their reaction.

5. Focus on Balanced Relationships

Invest in connections that seem mutually beneficial. I've discovered that the strongest friendships are those in which both parties experience support and worth. Be in the company of individuals who truly care about you.

6. Know When to Let Go

Sometimes walking away is the greatest thing you can do for yourself, although this part is difficult. It wasn't easy, but it was vital for me to let go of friendships that took more energy from me than they gave. It's acceptable when friendships don't last a lifetime.

Read More

Fuel Your Day Naturally: 5 Best Foods for Steady, Lasting Energy

 Have you ever experienced the lunchtime slump, when you need to push through yet feel exhausted and lethargic? I am certain that I have. I've come to understand over the years that my energy levels are greatly influenced by the foods I eat. I discovered a significant difference when I began to monitor my diet more closely; some meals made me feel lethargic, while others gave me the energy and focus I needed for hours.

I constantly make an effort to incorporate foods that are high in nutrients and energy into my meals because of this. When it comes to sustaining endurance and preventing crashes, critical vitamins, fiber, and healthy fats may make all the difference. I'll include some of my favorite go-to meals that give you long-lasting energy in this post, along with easy methods to eat them. These meals can help you feel your best whether you need a morning boost, an afternoon pick-me-up, or just want to stay energized all day.

Avocados: Healthy Fats for Lasting Energy

Monounsaturated fats, which are abundant in avocados, are excellent for heart health and long-lasting energy. Additionally, they include B vitamins, potassium, and fiber, all of which help you feel full and avoid feeling lethargic. Because it keeps me full and prevents morning energy slumps, I love to include avocado in my breakfast.

Nutritional Highlights: Avocados

Heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, which provide you with sustained energy and help keep your blood sugar levels steady, are abundant in avocados. Additionally, they are a great source of fiber, which helps to maintain a healthy digestive system and avoid energy slumps. Avocados, which are high in potassium, promote hydration and muscular function, both of which are critical for sustaining energy levels throughout the day. They also include B vitamins, such as folate and B6, which are essential for brain and energy metabolism. Avocados are a powerhouse for long-lasting energy and general vigor since they include fiber, healthy fats, and crucial elements.

How to enjoy: For a creamy and satisfying snack, mash avocado on whole-grain bread and top with lemon juice and salt. For added nutrients, add sliced avocado to grain bowls, salads, or wraps. Avocado adds a luscious texture and increases the consumption of healthy fats when blended into smoothies.

Green Tea: A Gentle Caffeine Boost

Green tea contains L-theanine, an amino acid that supports calm and focused energy, and a small amount of caffeine. In contrast to coffee, which can occasionally cause jitters, green tea provides a more gradual and long-lasting energy boost. To keep awake without interfering with my later sleep, I frequently drink green tea in the afternoon.

Nutritional Highlights: Green Tea

A natural source of caffeine, green tea gives you a slight energy boost without giving you the jitters that come with coffee. It includes L-theanine, an amino acid that helps maintain energy levels more consistently by fostering tranquility and focus. Antioxidants, especially catechins, which lower oxidative stress and promote general health, are also abundant in green tea. Its metabolism-boosting qualities can also help with fat oxidation and energy generation. Green tea is a great option for increasing mental and physical vitality because of its potent antioxidants and mild stimulation.

How to enjoy: For consistent energy, make a hot cup of green tea and drink it in the morning or afternoon. For a cool beverage, you may also create iced green tea with a little honey and a squeeze of lemon. Another excellent method to make use of matcha powder's energy-boosting qualities is to add it to smoothies.

Quinoa: A Complete Protein for Endurance

Quinoa is a complete protein source since it is one of the few plant-based foods that contains all nine necessary amino acids. It offers consistent energy without crashing and is high in fiber and complex carbohydrates. I always make sure to include quinoa in my meals when I have a long day ahead of me since it keeps me energized and satisfied for hours.

Nutritional Highlights: Quinoa

All nine of the essential amino acids required for muscle repair and long-lasting energy are present in quinoa, making it a complete protein. Additionally, it contains a lot of complex carbs, which avoid blood sugar crashes and surges by releasing energy gradually throughout the day. Quinoa's high fiber content helps with digestion and prolongs feelings of fullness, which lessens weariness brought on by changes in appetite. It also includes magnesium, which is necessary for energy generation and muscular function, and iron, which aids in the blood's oxygen transfer. This nutrient-dense grain is ideal for sustaining endurance and stamina.

How to enjoy: Prepare quinoa as a foundation for side dishes, grain bowls, or salads. For a well-balanced dinner, combine it with roasted vegetables and a protein source, such as chicken or tofu. Quinoa may also be substituted for rice in stir-fries and other recipes.

Apples: A Natural Source of Sustained Energy

Apples are a fantastic fruit for increasing energy levels since they are full of natural sugars, fiber, and antioxidants. By slowing down the breakdown of carbohydrates, the fiber content helps avoid blood sugar dips and surges. I've discovered that eating an apple in the afternoon consistently increases my energy levels without causing me to feel lethargic later. Vitamin C, which is abundant in apples, also boosts immunity and general health.

Nutritional Highlights: Apples

Fructose, the main natural sugar found in apples, gives you an immediate and continuous energy boost without making you feel bloated. Their high fiber content promotes continuous energy release and prolongs feelings of fullness by slowing down the absorption of sugar. Antioxidants like quercetin, which are abundant in apples, also benefit general health by lowering inflammation. Moreover, they contain vitamin C, which helps to boost immunity and lessen tiredness. Apples' natural sugars, fiber, and vital nutrients make them the ideal fruit for sustaining energy levels throughout the day.

How to enjoy: For a fast and cool snack, eat an apple by itself. For a well-balanced intake of protein, carbs, and healthy fats, pair it with almond butter. Apple slices may also be added to salads, yogurt, and cereal to add crisp and flavor.

Berries: Antioxidant-Rich Energy Boosters

Antioxidants, fiber, and natural sugars found in berries like blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries provide you a consistent energy boost. Their abundant vitamin C content promotes cellular energy generation and lessens oxidative damage. A bowl of mixed berries makes me feel refreshed whenever I'm feeling exhausted without giving me the lethargic sensation that comes with hefty eating. Berries' natural sugars and fiber combine to provide a gradual and even release of energy.

Nutritional Highlights: Berries

Antioxidants like anthocyanins and vitamin C, which are abundant in berries like blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries, help fight oxidative stress and lessen tiredness. They are an excellent natural sugar source that gives you a rapid, sustained energy boost without making you collapse. Berries' high fiber content helps with digestion and blood sugar regulation, avoiding energy slumps during the day. They also include vital B vitamins that are important for brain function and energy generation. Berries are a tasty and effective approach to maintaining energy and general vigor because of their nutrient-dense makeup.

How to enjoy: Savor the light and pleasant snack of fresh berries by themselves. For a meal high in antioxidants, mix them into oatmeal, yogurt, or smoothies. For a taste and nutritional boost, you may also include berries in salads or combine them into homemade energy bars.

Small Changes, Big Energy Gains

Your energy levels can be significantly impacted by little dietary adjustments. I've found that eating nutrient-dense meals like quinoa, avocados, and berries makes me feel more focused, awake, and prepared to face the day. The best thing is that these foods are tasty, easy to include in regular meals, and invigorating. Try to include some of these nutrient-dense meals in your diet if you've been having trouble feeling energetic; you'll be shocked at how much better you feel!

Read More

Understanding Nighttime Awakenings: How Many Times Is Normal By Age?

 I've struggled with waking up in the middle of the night for years, and I know I'm not the only one. I roll over and immediately go back asleep on some nights, without noticing. There are other times when I simply stare at the ceiling, wondering why I can't sleep through the night like I used to. In actuality, waking up during the night is common, but the frequency of these awakenings varies depending on several factors, such as age, stress, and even the food we eat before bed.

I wanted to explore the prevalence of nighttime awakenings at various ages and the potential warning signs. I've learned how crucial it is to know what is and isn't typical after overcoming my own sleep issues.

Why Do We Wake Up at Night?

It's not always a bad thing to wake up at night. Deep sleep, light sleep, and REM sleep are all phases of sleep that our bodies go through. These cycles run around 90 to 120 minutes, and at the end of each one, it’s usual to experience a brief waking. Most of the time, we don’t recall these times.

Stress is a big factor for me. I find that I wake up more frequently and have a harder time falling back asleep if I have a lot on my mind, whether it's deadlines, personal concerns, or even just random thoughts. I’ve also discovered that my sleep is disturbed when my room is too warm, or if I take coffee too late in the day.

How Many Times Is Normal to Wake Up at Night by Age?

Infants and Toddlers (0–3 Years)

Normal Frequency: 3–5 times per night.

Babies wake up more often than adults because their sleep cycles are shorter—about 50 to 60 minutes. Other factors include general pain, teething, and hunger.

What to Watch For: A baby may be experiencing colic, teething pain, or sleep regression if they have problems falling back asleep or crying a lot.

I remember my sister spending the entire night with my niece when she was a newborn. I became aware of the amount of work required to put a baby to sleep as a result. Now, I completely understand new parents' exhaustion anytime I hear them express it.

Preschoolers and Young Children (4–10 Years)

Normal Frequency: 1–2 times per night.

Children begin to sleep more like adults at this age, but sleep disturbances like nightmares, bedwetting, or irregular bedtime habits can still occur.

What to Watch for: It may be worthwhile to investigate potential sleep problems, anxiety, or even conditions like sleep apnea if a kid wakes up a lot and appears excessively exhausted throughout the day.

My cousin suffered night terrors when he was around six years old, and I used to watch him. He woke up screaming, which was awful, but the following day he wouldn't even recall it. I learned from seeing him go through it that children's sleep problems can differ greatly from adults.

Teenagers (11–18 Years)

Normal Frequency: 0–1 times per night.

Teens' circadian rhythms are impacted by significant hormonal changes, which makes them desire to sleep in and stay up late. Periodic awakenings can also be caused by stress, screen time, and bad sleeping habits.

What to Look for: It could be time to change a teen's sleep patterns or get professional help if their mood, academic performance, or general energy levels are negatively impacted by their sleep disturbances.

As a teenager, I had a lot of trouble sleeping, especially when it came time for exams. I would study late into the night and then wake up at odd hours, utterly restless. At the time, I didn’t know how much screen time before bed was making things worse. I try to be more aware of that now.

Adults (19–64 Years)

Normal Frequency: 1–2 times per night.

Most individuals have short awakenings in between sleep cycles. Alcohol, coffee, stress, and discomfort from an inappropriate sleeping environment can all be factors.

What to Look Out For: If you wake up a lot to go to the bathroom (nocturia) or feel tired even after sleeping through the night, it may indicate an underlying illness such as sleep apnea, insomnia, or restless legs syndrome.

I find that here is where I struggle the most. I sometimes wake up several times during the night, either because I had coffee too late in the evening or because my mind was racing. Additionally, I've discovered that I'm more likely to wake up if I go to bed feeling very full or hungry.

Older Adults (65+ Years)

Normal Frequency: 2–3 times per night.

Sleep is lighter and more erratic as we get older. More frequent awakenings might result from a combination of medical disorders, drugs, and decreased melatonin synthesis.

What to Look Out for: It can be worthwhile to consult a physician if severe daytime drowsiness or a notable deterioration in the quality of sleep arises.

My grandpa used to gripe about waking up at three in the morning and finding it difficult to get back to sleep. After doing some research, he discovered that some of his medications were interfering with his sleep, which he had previously assumed was a natural part of growing older. Small tweaks, like altering when he took his medicines, made a significant effect.

Factors That Influence Nighttime Awakenings

No matter your age, several factors might influence how frequently you wake up at night:

• Stress and Anxiety: If I’m stressed, I’m nearly likely to wake up at night.
• Diet and Hydration: I have trouble sleeping when I eat just before bed or drink coffee late in the day.
• Sleep Environment: An excessive amount of light or noise, or even an improperly heated room, might cause issues.
• Medical Conditions: Hormonal imbalances, acid reflux, sleep apnea, and chronic pain can all interfere with sleep.
• Medications: Some medicines interfere with sleep quality.

When Should You Be Concerned?

It's natural to wake up sometimes, but if you have trouble falling back asleep or feel tired during the day, it might be an issue. Among the warning signs are:

• Feeling exhausted all the time even after sleeping for seven or nine hours.
• Loud snoring or gasping when you wake up—these might be symptoms of sleep apnea.
• Mood fluctuations, irritation, or trouble focusing as a result of little sleep.

It's advisable to consult a physician or sleep expert if any of these seem familiar.

Tips to Improve Your Sleep

I've tried a lot of things over the years to help me sleep better, and these have been the most successful:

• Maintain a Routine: It makes a big difference to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
• Establish a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Blackout curtains were a huge improvement for me.
• Limit Screen Time: This is still a work in progress for me, but decreasing screen time before bed really helps.
• Watch What You Eat and Drink: I'm giving up large meals and late-night coffee.
• Use Relaxation Techniques: I find that writing, gentle stretching, and deep breathing all help me decompress.

Read More